Conflict – Rex

The anger builds in me every time I see her, I didn’t want too show it in-front of everyone but the thought of seeing her stupid face made me so mad. I exited the room and went to the kitchen the smoke from my ears filled the room. I couldn’t take it anymore. I opened the wooden draw and reached for the silver blade, firmly grasping the plastic handle. I take the blade over the kitchen sink, and turn the tap on, I switch the tap over to hot water and fell the burning sensation collide over my hands. I put the blade under and study the edge of the blade, then thin edge caught the light reflecting the light into the tiled floor. I take the blade and dry it with a dirty cloth. I grasp the handle of the blade and take it to Cheryl’s room. I knock on the wooden door with the blades handle, eyes set on finishing it. “ohhh Cheryl, dinners ready”. I put my warm hands to the door handle and slowly start to turn it, The window was slightly open, with a little bit of wind entering the room. I look and Cheryl’s cold body knowing that bitch deserved this. I start to walk to the side of the bed she was sitting on, knife behind my back. “Cheryl, dinners ready”. She looks around at me eyes dead set on me. With a quick stride I jab the blade into her chest, the bloody slowly starts to drip from the blade. Her eyes look down to the stab and up back at me, “fuck you” she shouts before I take the blade out. I exit the room, closing the door behind me. I take the blade back to the kitchen sink and run cold water over it. I use my hands to swipe the remains of the blood of the knife. I again use the dirty cloth to dry the blade. I open the wooden draw again and put the knife back in.

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Hi Abhishek,

Something you need to work on with your writing is changing your sentence starters. Almost every sentence you’ve written starts with “I…” This causes your writing to become repetitive and can make it seem less like a narrative and more like a list.
You also need to look at the structuring. This entire story is written in a single paragraph. It is important that you break up your paragraph so that your reader can easily follow your story.

Thank you

Mr Johnson

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